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I can’t believe I’m blogging this

Do you ever have something you’re tempted to blog about but it’s so personal it seems kind of weird to put it out there? This is one of those things. It’s personal and it’s weird and embarassing, but it’s life and it’s interesting, so what the hell.

One day last week I started becoming strangely aware of my genitals. I didn’t think much of it at first since I was preoccupied with other things, and the sensations eventually faded. Then it happened again the next day, and the next. I felt like my genitals were growing. I could feel my pulse down there. As the days went by, it got worse, till it was all I could think about. It was a state of physiological – but oddly not sexual – arousal.

I’d be okay in the morning, and it would start in the afternoon and intensify in the evening. Each day it seemed more intense than the day before. It sounds like it could be enjoyable, but really it wasn’t – it was uncomfortable. I’d be in a meeting, or working, or walking home from work, or trying to read or whatever, and all I could think about was my pulsating giant genitalia.

After a few days I googled it. You can imagine the kinds of websites that popped up. After wading through some eye-popping porn, I finally found something useful: this is Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome, a relatively rare condition, first ‘discovered’ in 2001, and one of the possible causes is a drug called Trazodone. I’ve been taking Trazodone for a couple of weeks as a sleeping pill! Oddly, the fact sheet that came with the prescription said nothing about this side effect, although it did mention the male equivalent: priapism (prolonged and painful erection that can last from several hours up to a few days).

I decided to immediately discontinue Trazodone. The first night was bad. I was lying in bed wide awake. I couldn’t sleep for two reasons: one, I hadn’t taken my sleeping pills, and two, I couldn’t get comfortable because I felt like there was a pulsating football between my legs. I lay there for hours, thinking about Kafka’s Metamorphosis. Maybe I’d wake up in the morning and I’d have been consumed by it – I’d be trapped inside a giant pulsating clitoris which would roam the earth devouring everything in its path.

Finally I took ONE trazodone, and quickly fell asleep and woke up like a normal person with normal genitals. Since then I haven’t taken any trazodone, and I’m pleased to report that everything has returned to normal. I’m even sleeping better than I have for months.

P.S. In case anybody I know is reading this and wondering if I was secretly having multiple orgasms while in your presence, the answer is no.

Here’s a question for my fellow bloggers: Would you have blogged this?

4 comments to I can’t believe I’m blogging this

  • Dakota

    I am not sure I would have blogged about this. If it really bothered me or annoyed me, I probably would. I usually let my intuition decide. If it feels right….I blog, if only the thought of blogging about a certain topic makes me feel uncomfortable I write about it but never post it. I think you are very courageous :)

    It was good to read that your problems are solved and that you are sleeping a lot better :)

  • Well it was an interesting medical issue so it shouldn’t matter that the “issue” was in an odd spot. I would talk to the physician who prescribed the meds however, and ask why they didn’t mention that possible side effect. I mean, I can undertand if they didn’t mention something like “dry mouth” (a common side effect for various meds) because, who cares? But what you described was quite the event!

  • Thanks Dakota and Julia. My doc scheduled a follow-up appt for next week, to see how I’m doing with the meds and the sleeping, so I’ll tell her about the bizarre side effect then. Meanwhile, I’ve been sleeping so much better since I stopped taking the sleeping pills. Crazy.

  • EA

    Good job! you described what your problem was and you can help many women in such situation. Good Girl!