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Mike’s chick magnet hat

Remember last year when I knit Mike a Magic Chick Magnet Hat for his birthday? He said he definitely noticed some heightened interest from women whenever he wore that hat (as I predicted he would).

MikeWell guess what? A couple of weeks ago he was in a bar on Elgin Street, and at the end of an uneventful evening with his regular group of friends, he left by himself. The last thing he remembers is pulling his Magic Chick Magnet Hat out of his jacket pocket and starting to put it on his head. The next thing he remembers is regaining consciousness in a doorway. He was a bloody mess, having been punched and kicked in the head a number of times.

The only thing missing was the Magic Chick Magnet Hat.

Mike and I both wondered aloud if maybe some other guy had learned of the power of the Hat and would stop at nothing to possess it. Another possibility is that Mike was just kind of dozey when he regained consciousness and left his Magic Chick Magnet Hat lying on the ground. We prefer the first explanation.

Mike asked me to photograph his face several days after the attack, because his all-time favourite photo of himself is one taken by me about 25 years ago after he collided with a no parking sign while playing football on the street at night. I am the official photographer of Mike’s Misfortunate Facial Injuries.

I promised to knit him another Magic Chick Magnet Hat. But first I need to knit a replacement scarf for my mother as she misses the scarf she lost last winter. (Replacement knitting is probably far more common than we know. Someone should do a study.)

4 comments to Mike’s chick magnet hat

  • Oh my, that must have hurt!

  • This is horrible. I bet since there is “no evidence”, the police aren’t looking into who perpetrated this violent crime. They rarely look into burglaries – no violence. And I think they only work on files where there is some chance of solving the crime, even if there is a victim. It’s only on tv where they get DNA from some teeny tiny source and then match it with the perp. I hope Mike is okay with the idea that no one will ever pay for what they did to him. But I wonder what the motive for the beating was? If they stole his wallet, there you go. But if not, maybe they knew him? He’s a regular so that’s a distinct possibility. And that would bother me the most. I’m a regular at a local bar and If I got beat up, that’s the first thing I’d want to know – if it was someone I saw there regularly. I’m afraid it would turn me into a vigilante. I’d be walking around with a baseball bat from then on. Grr! This makes me so mad – and I don’t even know Mike.

  • Gillian

    That’s not good at all. Good luck to Mike!

  • Julia – you’re right, his main concern is wanting to know if it was random or not. He doesn’t want to be looking over his shoulder all the time if there’s no reason to do so. He doesn’t seem all that interested in vengeance or retaliation, but he’d like to avoid paranoia if possible.

    He’s healing nicely. He says it didn’t hurt as much as many of his sports-related injuries over the years, although it did look more spectacular than most of those.