Christmas actually wasn’t all that dysfunctional this year. We had one gathering in Edelweiss on Christmas Eve, and another up at the lake near Wakefield on Christmas Day. The Edelweiss gathering was in this amazing house that Kerry and Maurice rented for two weeks, and which used to be the Joompla Restaurant, and which I believe my ex and I considered buying in 1996. (We didn’t buy it because he was afraid his children would drown in the waterfall in the back yard.)
On Christmas Eve my sister Kerry was explaining how, as a witch, all her power is concentrated in her left hand, and when she dies she wants the bones in her left hand to be given to her four children. However, there are laws against bequeathing your body parts. Her plan, therefore, is to amputate her own left hand when death is both inevitable and imminent. I believe the rest of us are to take care of the gorier details such as the deboning. (Don’t worry, the children were not present during this conversation: they were visiting their other parent. It’ll still be a surprise when the time comes.)
After dinner and wine we got into the coffee and Bailey’s and set to work building the Gingerbread Crack House. There’s a lot of fine detail and craftsmanship in this house. We had a crackerjack team of architects and builders working on it. From left to right: my son James, my brother-in-law Maurice, my brother Rob, my sister Kerry, and my brother-in-law Scott.
On the box, it said “TELL US ABOUT YOUR SPECIAL GINGERGREAD HOUSE! SEND A PHOTO TOO!” I’ll do that tomorrow.
The amazing house (the rental, not the crack house) came with a stray cat who was living a sad and lonely life under the steps. Kerry and Maurice of course invited her to stay in the house with them. They’re trying to locate her owners, but if there is no response, I might adopt her. I named her Taz. She’s very small and quite young and she’s a sweetie. I think I need a cat, don’t you?
I slept in a very short bed that night, which is normally occupied by a very short child. The room was wonderful, with bears and artwork and a sloped ceiling. I liked it a lot. I felt like Goldilocks in the very short bed.
On Christmas morning Maurice made french toast. Afterwards we all went over to my mom’s place on the lake. It looked and smelled wonderfully Christmasy. After the children were collected from their other parents, we opened presents.
Arrow, seven-year-old daughter of the feminist witch, was thrilled that her mother finally caved in and got her a Barbie. The rest of us were amused. Kerry was quick to point out that Barbie has become far more realistically proprotioned than she used to be. She no longer has a 68 inch bust, althought she’s still 8 feet tall with a 16 inch waist. Barbie spent the evening doing gymnastics in the living room. I got to do her voice. Every time Barbie said “OW!” Arrow reminded her that she was only plastic and therefore couldn’t possibly feel pain.
I didn’t take many pictures. This is the only one I got of Sam, who likes me now because I can whistle.
This is Max who likes the new baby but also likes to sometimes get in the baby seat and pretend that HE is the baby.
Dinner was delicious: turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, cauliflouer, broccoli, green beans, carrots, yum! (The children didn’t eat much though because a certain aunt bought their Christmas presents at Sugar Mountain.)