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A Cautionary Tale for Mayor Larry the Rock Star

Mayor Larry O’Brien showed up at the police station yesterday in his gold Mercedes-Benz for mugshots and fingerprinting, and to be formally booked on charges of bribery and influence peddling.

Apparently, upon seeing the crowd of reporters waiting for him, the mayor said “I feel like a rock star. I’m just absolutely amazed at the number of people here. It must be a bigger story than I thought.”

Right. And he’s a bigger horse’s ass than WE thought.

The mayor was probably just trying to downplay the seriousness of the charges against him, but by getting himself arrested for essentially buying his job, and then swaggering into the police station and acting like it’s all a big joke, he’s now rivaling Toronto’s Mel Lastman for most embarrassing Canadian mayor ever. (He can’t possibly win – Mr. Lastman will hold that title for all time. But still.)

Actually, this reminds me of a story Kevin told me once. Years ago he had been convicted of something and the judge sentenced him to two years less a day.

“Two years less a day?” Kevin scoffed, “I could do that standing on my head!”

“And another year to get you back on your feet,” the judge added, without missing a beat.

The moral of the story: The criminal justice system doesn’t reward those who attempt to trivialize it, and it takes a very dim view of Swagger.

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9 comments to A Cautionary Tale for Mayor Larry the Rock Star

  • Mayor Larry keeps saying he’s 100% sure he’s innocent. Why doesn’t he just say he didn’t do it? Obviously because he did do it, but he’s confident he can weasel out of it.

    Christ, what a slime.

  • Liz

    Speaking of swagger…

    The SPCA has informed me that they have left numerous messages at the home of the registered owner of the wayward tattooed Lady Black of Cross Harbour err Town, and have received no answer.

    Lady Black is with us still; the ‘no pets’ landlord is arriving home from warmer climes very soon. We as responsible renters will have to abide by the rules, or hurt after.

    Turns out Lady Black has traveled many miles to howl at our door and no-one seems to be missing her. (Which I think is a slap in the face to catdom and their supplicants everywhere.)

    I’m giving the owner and registered tattoo buyer just a few more days. Come January 10th, one month with no word from the tattoo registrant losing his or her cat, and despite repeated calls from the SPCA since last week… Lady Black of Cross Town will NOT be surrendered to any shelter.
    She shall grace the home of a loving one who is allowed pets on the proviso that IF and WHEN the registered owner shows up, Lady Black shall be surrendered, heartbreakingly, forthwith.
    We’ve taken some pictures of Lady Black and with your forbearance Zoom, hope to post them here.
    If it turns out that there is some heartbroken cat-loving consort to Lady Black of Cross Town, she shall be delivered safely into said cat-lover’s arms, no questions asked.

    Frankly, the SPCA should be grateful they aren’t on the hook for feeding and caring for Ms. Black, nor in danger of gassing her for the crime of non-present owners. Nor shall they auction her off once more for money they already received. Double jeopardy and all. And a lot like horse-trading.

    That Ms Black’s tattoo cannot be updated without surrendering her to a shelter where her existence depends on crowding and age is a travesty… let me just say PHHHHTTTTT!

    When and if the registered owner of Lady Black of Cross Town comes looking, he or she will find the Lady feline delivered safe and sound. In the meantime, Lady Black of Cross Town will be the cat’s meow in a home which desires to care for her in the manner to which she is accustomed.

    Big fat hello from us to Duncan the dog-cat. :)

  • XUP

    As you know I’m new to Ottawa, so am able to say I bear absolutely no responsiblity for Larry being Mayor. Was everyone on crack last election day, or what? I was absolutely gob-smacked when I saw his stupid face hamming it up as he’s been booked for what is really one of the most heinous crimes a politician can commit. It’s dispicable that he won’t step aside and let someone who can focus do his job while he’s going through this shit. This latest stunt though, is just mind-bogglingly. I guess he knows his career is over anyway, so he might as well Britney Spear his way into a total meltdown.

  • Carmen

    Touché!!! Well said!

  • Wait, Liz – you are in Ontario, aren’t you? Unless it’s a private rental or a dorm, the no-pets clause is invalid, even if it’s in the lease. Of course, private rentals are different. What’s your situation?

  • Regarding the “no pets” lease provisions, check out the Landlord and Tenant Act in Ontario:
    http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/html/statutes/english/elaws_statutes_06r17_e.htm
    and in particular section 14:
    “A provision in a tenancy agreement prohibiting the presence of animals in or about the residential complex is void.”
    If your unit fits within the definition of “rental unit” (check definitions in section 2) and doesn’t fall into the exceptions (s.5), then you may be able to keep the pet.
    Of course, the landlord then has the use of section 22, if the animal turns out to disturb other tenants, and may be able to proceed under that obligation.

    Also, check out the Landlord and Tenant Board web site, which has a lot of other info.
    http://www.ltb.gov.on.ca/en/index.html

  • Minerva

    XUP – being on crack doesn’t make a person stupid and therefore vote for someone like Larry. I have 3 friends who were addicted to crack at one time. All three are brilliant and did NOT vote for Larry… maybe the voters were actually on some kind of legal drug i.e. alcohol

  • Lissa and Julia: Liz and Lady Black are in BC.

    Liz: Sure, we can post pictures of Lady Black here, if you think it will help. Personally I think you’ve already done way more than necessary to give the rightful owner the opportunity to get his or her cat back. If it were me, I would deliver her now into the arms of the friends who want her so much.

    Robin, good point, even the way he talks about his innocence makes him sound guilty.

    XUP, thanks for not voting for Mayor Larry. 😉 But Minerva’s right, crack wouldn’t explain it.