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I fell down the stairs and I don’t hate winter anymore

Killer Stairs I fell down the stairs today. I was expecting to fall down the stairs sooner or later, but I assumed it would be the icy outdoor stairs. No. It was the indoor stairs.

I was heading down the stairs with my cat and my coffee cup, in my nice warm toasty thick slippery socks, and on the second step my foot just kept going and I flew up and then down and landed on the stairs on my ass and my spine, and then proceeded to slide and thump, feet-first, down the entire flight of stairs like this: “OW OW FUCK OW FUCK OW FUCK FUCK FUCK OW FUCK OW OW.”

I didn’t stop till I ran out of stairs. I lay there dazed for a few seconds, and then peered back up the stairs to see Duncan at the very top staring down at me like I’d gone mad. He thought I’d done it on purpose!

Favourite Cup Survives FallI stood up and checked out the damage. Several vertebrae were bruised, my butt hurt, two nails were broken and one finger was bleeding. I was oddly pleased with myself for not having let go of my favourite cup throughout the entire accident: it escaped unscathed. I got it at a garage sale a few years ago and I like it a lot.

I put on some more coffee and some no-slip slippers and made a mental note to do something about those stairs before I get old.

What's a little more snow?The other thing that’s new is I’ve decided not to hate winter anymore. If we get 84 more centimeters of snow, we’ll have snagged the record for the snowiest winter ever recorded in Ottawa. Besides, once you’ve got this much snow, what’s a little more? We’re getting up to 50 centimeters this weekend; then we’ll be within spitting distance of the record.

I say we’ve come this far, let’s go for the gold! BRING IT ON!!

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19 comments to I fell down the stairs and I don’t hate winter anymore

  • Aie. Wait till tomorrow, when every muscle in your body hurts. At least, that’s always been my experience of falling down the stairs. I recommend a hot bath with epsom salts tonight, if you can.

  • I am notorious for falling down stairs, off sidewalks, stepping in cracks in the road, falling off my shoes, tripping over nothing… Dave doesn’t even show concern anymore most of the time he just keeps going…. I think my butt is perma-bruised…. well I hope you’re feeling better and glad your favourite cup didn’t break.
    We’re expected 50 cm here in Niagara too.. so Ive hunkered down with the cats and my knitting.. winter is good for somethings

  • Way to be optimistic about all this white stuff. Considering we can’t do a whole lot about it (except shovel, shovel, and shovel some more…), we may as well urge that record on. Hope you’re not too sore tomorrow, but very glad you and your cup survived relatively unscathed.

  • I’ve gone down my steps too although not the whole way. My DH put 3 strips of non skid material on each step and that helps a lot since I wear socks and no shoes in the house. Take it easy and get well soon.

  • Oma

    Just as you decide to like snowy winter, I have decided I hate it. I particularly do not like the build-up of ice that has been causing leaks everywhere or the fact that my car is completely snowbound and I am at the mercy of Leonard’s plow.

    But at least I haven’t fallen down these stairs. I hope you are not too badly bruised and broken.

  • Rhiannon

    I have to admit that part of me is giggling under my breath at all the fuss about the snow there. But I realise it’s excessive, especially for the city, so I do understand.

    Last year I spent most of an 8 hour shift trading off with one of my coworkers hacking the ice off the sidewalk to the front curb where our (only somewhat mobile) clients are picked up for day program every morning.

    I’m from Winnipeg, and we tend to get a lot of snow here. The worst thing is that it doesn’t melt off until April, so the accumulation is what really gets you. I thought it was particularly humourus(sp) hearinbg about the new overnight parking ban. Here we have an overnight parking ban all winter. We also have the snow mountain, made with the snow from off the streets of Winnipeg, which doesn’t usually melt completely by the time more gets deposited on it the next winter.

    Anyway, I’m rambling because I had a big exam earlier, and the post-exam jitters are keeping me up. I’ll stop now, and be amazed if anyone reads the whole thing.

    Seriously though, take care of yourself; if you have a fever don’t walk to the grocery store! However, if there is no fever, feel free to exert yourself as much as necessary.

  • *ouch* sorry about your fall. you’ll probably be covered in bruises tomorrow. have you got any hirudoid?

  • Oh Zoom!!!! Take some arnica and ice those bruises!!!! OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m undecided on how I feel about winter. With Oma most likely snowed in tomorrow I may need to live at the airport this week with the Sprout. Can I come over to your place instead? I have a gift for you…its oh so knitnutty!!!!!

  • Deb

    Rob wants to know how hard you hit your head on the way down, that you now want MORE snow.

    BTW, when you landed at the bottom, did you want to cry but felt that there was nobody there to hear you, so why bother? I have had those feelings when I fell down stairs in the past.

  • What will we win if we beat the record? That’s what I want to know.

  • Ouch! I fell down some very steep hard stairs in South Africa and the bruises were enormous! I cried when I got to the bottom… so I know how much it sucks.

    86 cm seems like A LOT of snow… but holy sh*t – 50 cm this weekend??? We’re getting somewhere between 15 and 25 I think up here in the tropics and I seriously don’t know where it’s all going to go. I hope we all set records so that we talk about the winter of 08 the way people are currently reminiscing about 71 (apparently my dad had to walk to the hospital every day through shoulder-high snow when my sister was born).

  • Oma

    All you win is bragging rights.

  • You will be much stiffer today, 24 hours after you fell. It’s the chemicals in your muscles, the same ones that cause rigor mortis. Most people don’t know but after 24 hours, the rigor is at its most acute and then the chemicals start to dissipate and the body goes limp again. So in 48 hours, you won’t be as stiff and sore. I have fallen down our basement stairs which are bare wood like yours. It is no fun but at least there is a landing which stopped me half way. Also Uma fell down the same stairs and ever after, refused to go into the basement. When I rip out the carpet (finally) upstairs and put down hardwood this summer, I will re-carpet the stairs to prevent this sort of thing. Maybe you could consider a nice carpet runner, professionally installed? I say professionally because years ago when I was a student and rented a place, the landlady put a runner on the stairs and used brass rods on each step to keep it in place but the rods kept ripping out and every so often, we’d step on a stair and the carpet would come loose and there’d be much crashing and swearing, similar to your well-described “ow” series.

  • Alicia

    Owww! I second the arnica and ice! Then a magic bag or hot water bottle for when the muscles start to stiffen up! Ouch!
    I discovered a great use for those huge mountains called snow banks. Yesterday with the wet soppy roads – the type that get you all mucky from cars splashing you while you walk home from the bus stop – the spray couldn’t hit me because the snow banks hid me from the cars! Finally – a use for all this snow that doesn’t involve me looking like a tool while falling off sticks-strapped-to-my-feet onto my bruised derrier! Snow – you may continue!

  • I’m torn about the record. On the one hand, it would be nice to be around for the new record, on the other hand, it’ll be years before we get to lord it over the young folk again.

    I love being able to say “you think this is bad? you should have been around for the big blows of ’70 and ’71!”

  • I’m impressed with your attitude. I’d like to set the record for something different though – say world’s nicest ass or nicest hair or even coolest blog. Snow? Not so much.

  • Scrabulous Rob

    I think I speak for anyone who reads your blog when I say “YEEEEOWW!!”. I felt that fall (…but obviously not as much as you!). I chuckled when I read Deb’s comment re: shaking up your head on the way down because of your “renewed” love of winter. On the one hand, yes it would be nice to break the snow record so we can tell the youngins 30 years hence that we were there for the Big Snow of ’08 but what’s likely to happen is we will be 1 cm short of the record and it will only be a footnote to the “Really Really Big Snow of ’72″. I was there! This is nothing, except I am much older and have MUCH less tolerance so don’t ever say “Bring It On” to Old Man Winter… He may accept the challenge.

  • Kelsey

    Well, congratulations on your cup! It is indeed beautiful. But sorry you fell down the stairs.

  • Rhiannon, Ottawa, on average, gets more than twice as much snow as Winnipeg does (235 cm vs 110). But this year we’re on our way to an all-time record – we’re over 400cm now. Good luck with your exam!

    Nursemyra -what’s hirudoid?
    Dirtwitch – what’s arnica?

    Dirtwitch, if you can get to Ottawa, come on over!

    Deb, no I didn’t feel like crying, but I did have a brief flash of anger and nobody to aim it at.

    Leanne – excellent question. What do we win? Hmmm. I think we should all get a tropical vacation if we break the record.

    Julia – you have convinced me to contract the job out. But I’m not doing it until I get old or I have grandchildren, whichever comes first.

    Alicia – slush shields!

    David, as always you make an excellent point. I hadn’t thought of that. You’re such a strategist!

    Don Mills Don – hey, we take what we can get, eh? Nicest ass would be better though, you’re right.

    Scrabulous Rob, losing by a centimeter would be more than I could bear. If we get that close, we’ll all have to scrape out our freezers and add the ice crystals to the accumulation on the ground, just to push us over the edge.

    Kelsey! I’m glad you like my cup! It’s my happy cup.