Watch my life unravel...



Top Canadian Blogs - Top Blogs

Local Directory for Ottawa, ON


Keyword searches

It’s always interesting to check my stats and see which keyword searches are bringing people to my blog. As usual, has attracted dozens of people who are concerned that their ears squeak when they blow their noses, and hundreds of people searching for pictures of penises of varying lengths. Lately also seems to be a key repository of suppository searches.

Here are some of my recent favourites:

  • if i write my ex boyfriends name in red ink and put it in the freezer will i get over him?
  • do squirrels have orgasms?
  • photographs of nuns having sex
  • barefoot nun photos
  • how to tell if your cat is mentally challenged
  • how to tell if your cat likes you
  • how to tell if your cat loves you
  • top names for female gerbil triplets
  • cinnamon suppository
  • Is my 21-inch penis normal?
  • squash canine diarrhea
  • poop shooting day
  • scent free home squatter government of ontario
  • my cat is not pooping after revolution
  • Kinda makes you wonder how we managed before Google, doesn’t it?


    12 comments to Keyword searches

    • Man, I am really missing out on these. All the google searches to our blog are knitting-related.

    • I have a feeling many of us might not be pooping after the revolution. It’s a sad fact.

      As a librarian, I am appalled by the terrible searching strategies these people are using.

      The non-librarian in me is cracking the hell up, though.

    • I’m all in favour of squashing canine diarrhea too

    • J.

      how do people come sup with these! omg. I’ve looked at mine a couple times too and I have some odd ones, but these take the cake.

    • Psychic Librarian

      Certain reference questions that I have received at work have been the cause of some odd strings for me that have included words such as penis and sex. (in relation to another topic that I can’t mention). The funny part was when the IT fellow happened to look at my history one day, and then looked at me shocked! I had to show him the email containing the legitimate question to convince him that I wasn’t surfing for porn.

    • I obviously need to diversify my blog. All of mine are knitting related. The only mildly interesting one is “knit hedgehog slippers”. That shouldn’t take too long – their feet must be pretty tiny, no?

    • I get people looking for pictures of wild naked muddy adhd girls…and I’m more than a little perplexed as to how adhd fits into people’s pornographic fantasies.

    • Oh and just to add to this you come up first on google under crafty lifehack ottawa – cause I do so love random googling when I’m bored.

    • “photographs of nuns having sex” was me.

    • LMAO Roro. Damn, and all I’ve got is a video.

      Mudmama, I know what you mean – I find myself trying to piece together other people’s fantasies from their keyword searches, and sometimes it just leaves me mystified.

      Nursemyra, maybe with a little luck the dogs will stop pooping after the revolution too.

      Psychic Librarian, I keep a stack of phony emails at work too, just to throw those nosy IT people off my trail. 😉

      Leanne, tiny hedgehog feet, yes, but don’t forget there’s four of them.

    • I do not vouch for software programs very often but this recent service is superb. It is a key phrase tool which has a database of millions of key words showing the adwords traffic count monthly together with the google competition count and other data.

      At a click of a button you’ll find phrases with traffic but no competition and I have used it already to get internet pages and websites to the top of the search engines, even with no backlinks.

      You can watch a video of it in use here –