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I lost a friend

My Facebook friend count dropped from 140 to 139 the other day and I can’t figure out who I lost. It was really bugging me too. Eventually I conceded that it’s too late: there is no way of determining which friend dumped me. But I’ve since jotted down all the names of my current Facebook friends so if it ever happens again, I’ll know who it is. (And yes, you’re right, this is just as pathetic as it sounds.)

I should strive to be more like my buddy Theor, who is the lead male vocalist in my band, The Blue-Eyed Hermits and One Black Guy. I was his very first Facebook friend. He has a self-imposed limit of eight Facebook friends. Whenever a ninth person wants to be his friend, he either says no to them, or he dumps one of us eight. I’m sure he sleeps easier at night knowing there’s no way anybody’s ever gonna dump him without him knowing who it is.

Tom Ato is a local DJ

Tom Ato is a local DJ

Or maybe I should try to be more like my good friend Tom Ato, who is at the other end of the Facebook friend spectrum. Tom is a giant crocheted tomato with 350 friends. I’ve known him since way back in his relatively obscure pre-Facebook days, when he had only two friends. Tom’s the Original Drum and Bass Tomato. He doesn’t even care if his friends dump him. He’s that secure in his own skin.

One of 1,011 photographs of Kati

One of 1,011 photographs of Kati

Speaking of Facebook, there are 1,011 pictures of my niece Kati on Facebook as of this moment. Do you think that’s some kind of record? I think it must be. If I looked like her, I’d probably have 1,011 photographs of myself on Facebook too.

There are only 706 Facebook pictures of my other gorgeous niece Lindsay, who is pregnant with the first baby of our family’s next generation! This is going to be the world’s best loved and most photographed baby. I’m going to be Great-Auntie Zoom! I’m going to knit an umbilical cord hat and the sweetest little booties and a sheep blanket. The baby is still a secret since Lindsay’s only been pregnant for a day and a half. We’re allowed to blog about it but we’re not allowed to say anything on Facebook just yet because the baby’s paternal grandfather is out of town and they don’t want him to find out on Facebook.

Have you noticed there’s a distinct look to the vast majority of Facebook pictures? Someone did a study of Facebook profile pictures of guys named Ryan in New York City, and I think the results can be generalized to guys everywhere. It’s called The 20 Male Poses of Facebook. (Hat-tip to Schmutzie for this one.)

Girls night out

Girls night out

I don’t want to leave the women out. I can’t provide links to any equivalent studies, but here’s a typical Facebook ‘Girls Night Out’ group pose. (I didn’t even have to go looking for this – it came across my Facebook news feed this morning.)

One last thing before I head off for the Tofu Challenge: How do you like the brand-new Facebook format? Personally, I think Facebook has been over-zealously over-improved. Either that or I’m just rigid and inflexible and stubbornly resistant to change, which is entirely possible.

20 comments to I lost a friend

  • uhm… “girls night out” where?

  • Personally, I don’t really like the new facebook look, but I have no choice. Maybe it will grow on me. One of my friends had the best response to my status (that said pretty much what I just said): “I was just getting new to the Old new facebook.”

    I couldn’t agree more.

  • I don’t do Facebook. Love the 20 Male Poses

  • Gramma

    You may have lost a friend because they have just opted out of Facebook…that happens to me from time to time. All of a sudden someone is gone, not just from my list but from FB altogether…maybe it’s too time consuming and they have decided to take up running instead (one reason, I heard).

    Kati looks naked in that picture, but I would think her cousin Julia takes the cake with 1,024 pictures.

  • grace

    That ‘girls night out’ pose may be typical in some, cough, circles, but not in mine . . .

    And, ya, the new Facebook is a lttle weird for now. My only Facebook wish of course is that Scrabble ever gets ‘fixed’.

  • grace

    PS Would you send me the bootee pattern?

  • Oma

    What is an umbilical cord hat?

  • Gabriel – I have no idea.

    Casual Perfectionist – that’s pretty much exactly how I feel about it too.

    Nursemyra, why don’t you do Facebook?

    Deb (sorry, I can’t quite bring myself to call you Gramma)- Julia’s got 1024 photos? She MUST be the record holder.

    Grace, mine neither. And I don’t think it would have been even if Facebook was around when I was 20. The bootee pattern is here: (in the sidebar).

    Oma, contrary to what you might be thinking, an umbilical cord hat is not a tea cozy for umbilical stumps. It’s a sweet little hat with a knot tied in it. Here’s an example.

  • Julia

    I wouldn’t mind if a few of my friends dumped me because I never really knew them to begin with – they were students for one term. But I don’t want to dump them because it seems rude, or mean. Especially as there are other students who I remember and don’t mind keeping in touch with. On the other hand, this does not preoccupy me inordinately.

  • Melinda

    I’m with Nursemyra, I don’t do Facebook. I tell people it’s because I’m the last bastion of sanity, but it’s really because I don’t want to go the way of a friend of mine who had a horribly sad bit of her past pop up and bite her badly just when she didn’t need it. Plus, from what I’ve heard, it’s a time suck and I don’t need any more of those.

    So, from my point of view, since you’re on Facebook at all, you cannot possibly be rigid and inflexible and stubbornly resistant to change, can you?

  • I don’t do Facebook because I blog. Seriously, how can you find the time to do both as well as work and all the other things that you do?

  • XUP

    You’re too funny. How (and why) do you keep track of stuff like this. I couldn’t tell you right now how many Facebook friends I have. I think it’s probably under 100 though. Recently one of my Facebook friends quit Facebook and was quite miffed that I didn’t notice.

  • XUP

    Here’s the error message I was telling you about:

    Error 403
    We’re sorry, but we could not fulfill your request for /?p=1431#comment-50202 on this server.

    You do not have permission to access this server.

    Your technical support key is: cf70-3ca2-dfd9-b1ad

    You can use this key to fix this problem yourself.

    If you are unable to fix the problem yourself, please contact soozoom at and be sure to provide the technical support key shown above.

  • Julia, see that’s the thing. If I knew WHO dumped me, I could decide whether to care or not. It’s the not knowing that bugs me.

    Melinda, oh that’s awful. I can certainly imagine how that could happen. Facebook has all those weird intersections of the past and the present.

    Nursemyra, I don’t know how I find the time. My house is certainly a mess, and I feel like I’m behind on all kinds of things, but I’ve always got time for another 3-minute round of Scramble on Facebook. I just bought a book called Getting Things Done, by the way.

    XUP – I only noticed because it was a nice round number and it dropped. About that error message…thanks for letting me know. I’ll see what I can do. (It’s kind of a funny message, eh? Here’s a big number, you can use it to fix the problem yourself.)

  • Em

    I lost a facebook friend recently too, and same thing – No CLUE who it was. Apparently not a good friend, if I don’t miss them very much.
    And it’s not just you – Facebook changes stuff waaay too often. I was just getting used to the last overhaul. :(

  • XUP

    When you click the link there is a longer message referring to something called Bad Behaviour which then has no way of actually letting you fix things.

  • XUP

    Here’s the next message

    Your request was intercepted by Bad Behavior, security software which protects the Web site you visited from malicious activity, such as hackers, spam and viruses. We apologize for the inconvenience, but your request matched a profile of suspicious activity. This problem is usually quite easy to fix.

    Your request was blocked because of malicious automated requests received from your computer’s IP address.

    This problem may be caused by viruses or spyware on your computer, or by malicious software that pretends to be anti-virus or anti-spyware software. Ensure that you have REAL anti-virus and anti-spyware software on your computer, that they are kept up-to-date, and that you have run a full system scan using each tool. Once your system is cleaned of viruses and spyware, please try your request again.

    The free Google Pack provides trustworthy anti-virus and anti-spyware software.

    If you have just submitted data to the Web site you were visiting before you were blocked, this may be a bug in your Web browser. Click the Back button three times to continue browsing. Then consider replacing your Web browser with a standard Web browser.

    If the above suggestions fail to resolve the problem, click Back and contact the e-mail address you were given for further assistance.

  • Thanks XUP – that helps a lot. I just deactivated the Bad Behavior plugin, since it was behaving badly.