My blogging software automatically detects spam comments and keeps them in a separate file for me, so I can go through them later and verify that they are indeed spam.
The vast majority really are spam. They have nothing to do with the content of the blog posts, and their sole purpose is to try to get readers to click on the links to whatever they’re selling. (Which, incidentally, has nothing to do with the content of either the blog post or the comment.)
So today I was scanning the spam, and this one caught my eye:
“I will be hilarious if you typewrite something more about this.”
I was sorely tempted to haul out the old Smith-Corona.
“These women are also big and have broader backs and shoulders. Their mid section is also wide. Moreover, the lower thighs are also heavy but the legs are thin.”
They were selling replica handbags. You think heavy-set women with skinny thighs doesn’t make sense? Try this one:
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Then there are the spammers who think you won’t delete flattery:
“I am impressed by the way you embraced this subject. It’s not often I throughout a web site with hypnotic content articles like yours. I will bookmark your feed to stay present along with your succeeding revisions.Just beautiful and do uphold up the solid work.”
And those who ask compelling questions:
“Thanks for the auspicious writeup. It if truth be told was a leisure account it. Look advanced to far delivered agreeable from you! By the way, how could we communicate?”
Yesterday I applied for a job as a raptor handler. Raptors are birds of prey. I could be working with falcons, eagles, hawks, and owls! The company would prefer an experienced handler, but doesn’t seem to have much expectation of finding one. Training and instruction are provided, along, I assume, with protective gear. Bilingualism is not required, which is very rare for a job in Ottawa these days.
I’d love to get this job. I just hope it doesn’t involve using an owl to disperse crows. I am fond of crows, and owls too.