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Yoplait says it's not actually their insect

Yogurt insect with wine cork for scaleThe other morning I went to grab a yogurt out of the fridge. I buy the 16-packs of Yoplait Source. Eight containers on top of eight other containers, all wrapped in a cardboard sleeve.

But the bottom of the yogurt container I wanted was stuck to the top of the yogurt container underneath it. I yanked. They came apart suddenly, and a large squashed insect fell at my feet. This insect had apparently been the glue that held the yogurt containers together.

I immediately lost my appetite for yogurt.

I visited yoplait.ca and filled out their feedback form. I told them about the insect. I told them I didn’t know what kind of insect it was, but I had taken a picture of it.

Yesterday they phoned me and left a message. My phone has this trippy little feature: it transcribes voice mail messages into text for me. It’s not perfect, but it tries hard. When it’s not sure of something it puts a (?) after its best guess. Sometimes it makes me laugh.

Here’s what the yoplait.ca customer service rep said to me, according to my phone:

“Good day my name is Francine (?) … from … surveys (?). So actually I’m calling back in regards to d-in (?) sick kid that was question between the (?) … at (?) yoga containers. So actually we can just tell you that these inspect (?) it doesn’t come from our facilities in – or (?) from our warehouse-is-at (?) because actually we have monthly pest control services that are visiting allocation-so-and (?) actually we’ve never had any issue involving in sex (?) …”

Here’s what Francine actually said, according to the untranscribed voice mail:

“Good day my name is Francine from Yoplait Consumer Service. So actually I’m calling back in regards to the insect that was squashed in between the two yogurt containers. So actually we just can um tell you that these insect doesn’t come from our facilities nor from our warehouses because actually we have monthly pest control services that are visiting our locations so and actually we’ve never had any issue involving insects like that previously. So actually we are truly sorry about this incident but we can assure you that this insect doesn’t come from our facilities. If you have any other questions, you can contact us at 1-866-724-4466. Thank you. Bye-bye.”

11 comments to Yoplait says it’s not actually their insect

  • Your phone tries so hard!

    I’d have expected them to offer to pay you for the yoghurt or at least send you some coupons. I buy my yoghurt in boxes like that as well and so far have had no problems but now I’ll be suspicious. (and I’m across the continent from you (I think) and mine is probably packaged in a different facility)

  • I agree, they should have at least sent you some coupons. Funny phone, though!

  • Em

    We once found spider in a package of grapes, and she/he was very much ALIVE. It skittered out of the package and we squished it. From its remains, we couldn’t ID it as anything from Canada. Grapes were from Peru, so who knows what it was. I still eat grapes, but holy hell do I check them before I buy them.
    I’d say the bug was “in” the package enough that Yoplait could have given you a coupon or something. Gross.

  • Squashed, huh? It must’ve been a software bug…

  • Actually, we have monthly pest control at the Gimcrack too and I’ve actually, like, seen an actual insect from time to time. They actually find ways to get in and don’t actually die until the pest guy sprays them. Actually.

  • EWWW!!! I like actually have CATS come and regularly eat mice so we like actually know for sure there can’t be any mice here. So if you hear something scratching in the walls it like actually cannot be mice. What a strange attitude! Gross too!

  • redfraggle

    Very articulate. The call would have bothered me more than the insect, because of my background in call centre customer service. Like nails on a chalk board.

    Are you going to call back?

  • Coupons? Free product? Are you people kidding me? Zoom should have to pay extra for the free range protein supplement attached to her yogurt. And if she killed the bug by freezing it in her fridge or squishing it between the packs Peta will be calling any day. I’m not sure if this is pro biotic or pre biotic but it sure is biotic on some level and therefore just one of the many benefits of eating fine yogurt. At least it was between packs, really nasty is finding this sort of thing down where you expect to get to the fruit bottom good stuff.

  • I am so glad I had Activia this morning.
    Holy moly that is some bad customer service. Will you keep buying that brand?

  • OMG, please tell me the caller was chewing gum while calling–then I can imagine a “Valley Girl” voice to go with all that actuality. Although, maybe a French-Canadian accent is funnier. It’s just a non-stop saga at Chez Zoom, so much fun to read!