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You're only as old as other people think you look

I have new next-door-neighbours again. In the five years I’ve been here, I’ve had five different sets of people living on the other side of my east wall. The most exciting set was the 23-year-old couple with the five kids (six, now). The last set was several young men who liked to party. Two of them were okay, but the third got very loud and aggressive whenever he drank, which was whenever he got the chance. Sometimes he’d go out on the porch and scream obscenities in the middle of the night. That was annoying.

The new ones like to party too. They partied all night Tuesday and all night Thursday. Never went to bed. They woke me up a few times during the night but it just sounded like they were having a good time, no fighting. The crazy thing is they appear to actually go to work the next morning.

That’s youth for you. GC and I can’t even stay up till midnight on New Year’s Eve and these guys can party all night long and then go to work in the morning.

Speaking of youth…I was at Value Village on Tuesday night, buying second-hand toys for the birds. Simon loves chewing the arms and legs off little plastic people.

The cashier rang up my order.

“Nine dollars even,” she said. “With the discount, it’s $7.20.”

“The discount?” I asked obtusely.

“Senior’s discount every Tuessday,” she said. “Twenty percent off.”

“I’ll take it,” I said, figuring the insult alone was worth $1.80.

Out in the parking lot, I asked GC if I look like a senior.

“She’s a teenager,” he said. “To her, 50, 60, 70, it all looks the same. Old.”

Yeah, I guess that’s true. Just like 90, 100 and 110 all look the same to me. Old.

I was waiting for the bus the other day with an old man and he made me guess how old he was. I guessed 67, just to be on the safe side. Turns out he’s 81. He’s looking for a new wife. He divorced the first one after 47 years of marriage. He met the second one on the Internet and she divorced him after a year. I pointed out that the ratio of women to men in his age group greatly favours men.

But it turns out he’s not actually looking in his own age group.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he said. “I’m not looking for a 25-year-old, either.” But then he contemplated that assertion, and added “Though I wouldn’t mind that.”

Really?? Why would an 81-year-old man want a 25-year-old woman? Wouldn’t it just make him feel ridiculous?

12 comments to You’re only as old as other people think you look

  • grace

    I think I’m too old to live on the other side of a wall from people who party all night. And no, you don’t look like a senior.

  • I think some men just want to impress other men with their arm candy. This one is apparently like that. If your neighbors can party all night and not disturb you, maybe you should have your hearing checked. ;-)

    • But do these men think other men think these arm candy women actually like them and are attracted to them? (As for my neighbours, they DO disturb me – just not as much as my last neighbours did. It’s easier to fall back asleep when you’re woken up by a happy party!)

  • Well think about it if he’s 81 and she’s in her 20′s they’d have nothing to talk about so he’d be left in peace.

    • Julia

      That’s what I was thinking – what would they talk about?

      On Tuesdays at Loblaws, I get a student discount! 10%. Since I am legitimately a student and have a real student card with my picture on it and everything, I now try to buy the expensive stuff on Tuesdays. Less insulting maybe than a seniors discount. Peter got his first “old man” discount at the Corning Glass museum this summer. But he is 55, which is really old.

      • Lucky! How many courses do you have to be enrolled in to qualify for the card?

        (And yes, 55 is much older. By the time I’m that old, I won’t be insulted to be offered the senior’s discount, since I’ll be so close to being legitimately entitled to it.)

    • I think it would be the most boring relationship EVER.

  • Sheila

    I think the real question is: What would a 25 yr. old woman want with an 81 yr. old man? Unless he’s rich. Even then.

    Glad to hear that Oboe is doing well and has recovered. It’s so scary when things like that happen.

    • I think it goes without saying that the 25-year-old woman would have no genuine romantic/sexual interest in the 81-year-old man. Which is why I think the 81-year-old man should feel ridiculous and pathetic with her on his arm!

  • Gillian Sander

    Reminds me of a Sophie Tucker joke:

    Sophie’s boyfriend, Ernie, told Sophie that when he turned 80 years old he was going to marry a 20 year old girl

    Sophie told him, that when she turned 80 she was going to marry a 20 year old boy because……”20 goes into 80 a hellava lot more than 80 goes into 20″