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Pain, popes and tiny penises

When I said it was going to be a good week, I forgot to factor in the fact that because I’m having surgery on Thursday, I have to stop taking some of my meds beforehand. Something to do with blood thinning and internal bleeding; the nurses were very stern about it.

Yesterday was my first day without Arthrotec, which is an anti-inflammatory for my back. I’ve upped my painkillers accordingly, but I had a rough night last night. The pain is much sharper without Arthrotec, and I can’t take it again until five days after surgery.

On the bright side – I can’t help it, I always look for the bright side – the neurosurgeon will be seeing me tomorrow in all my raw unbridled pain. (Well, not all, since I’m still taking painkillers…but I’ll be in more raw unbridled pain than usual, which is a good thing when you’re pleading with a doctor to use his healing powers on you.)

You know what’s crazy? I am in pain. I am disabled. But for some reason, I feel like a fraud when I ask a doctor for help. I feel like I have to exaggerate my pain in order to compete for limited health care resources. All I want is for the doctor to do his doctor job and fix my back. If I’m successful in convincing him I’m worthy of his time and skills, I’ll probably feel like I scammed back surgery, which is ludicrous. Who would even want back surgery if they didn’t need it?

In other news, GC and I went to the National Gallery yesterday and saw the Papal Rome exhibit. The best part was when GC pushed my wheelchair up that long, long ramp going from the front doors to the Great Hall. He ran all the way up the ramp, and all the people walking down the ramp were laughing and smiling at us.

The exhibit itself was pretty good too. It’s all about papal art in the 16th century. There were some crazy popes back in the day (Pius V, I’m looking at you).

It might be interesting to rent one of the audio guides for this exhibit. I think we could have learned a lot about history and art if we’d done that. There were many intricate drawings with rich allegorical tales going on in them. We didn’t have the time or the patience to give each piece its due, and we were often drawn to the big colourful paintings instead.

More scholarly or cultured visitors might have come out of the exhibit with a different set of insights and observations, but GC and I just noticed that people back then spent a lot of time naked, and most of the men had tiny penises.

Tomorrow’s GC’s birthday and he has asked me to ask you for suggestions about how to celebrate it. He doesn’t want to make a huge deal out of his birthday, but he wants it to be fun and memorable. Any ideas?

13 comments to Pain, popes and tiny penises

  • My initial response is going to be very obvious… You guys should [ … ].

    And maybe you could go take cute pictures at a photo booth!

    Or go to Omega park!

    Or do all those things!

  • I too feel like a fraud at the doctor’s office! No matter how sick I am, I feel like a whiner and a liar. And yet, when the doctor does find something serious, I pooh-pooh his/her findings. “That lump? That’s nothing to worry about!” Turned out it was a burst appendix, but you would think a lump of ANY kind would be cause for concern, even by the likes of me. Good luck with *your* appointment! (And would a deep tissue massage offer you some relief while you are waiting for more mainstream treatment? Even if it doesn’t fix anything, it would still feel good!)

  • Lucy

    Regarding tiny penises in art, apparently my father (who was very scholarly) once said to my mom, while looking at a picture of Michelangelo’s David, “He should be ashamed of himself”…

    Best wishes for your appointment and for Thursday’s surgery!

  • Stephanie

    Crossing my fingers for a successful apointment and surgery!

    You should have taken the elevator at the museum, you know? :)

    And me too, I always feel like a fraud. And when I call in sick at work, I try to sound professional and so I try not to cough and sound as normal as possible. But the thing is I’m really sick and it doesn’t sound like it…

  • Oma

    They have bumper cars at Midway (near Science and Tech … I think someone was murdered there a few years back). I love bumper cars … but … on second thought, you back would probably complain. However; Nature Girl said they had lots of fun there … and there are other things besides bumper cars.

    How about splurging on the old fashioned fair?

    Whatever you do, have a blast!

  • Biplane ride out of the Aviation Museum. My best birthday present ever.

  • Tell GC to go outside and look for his gift from Mother Nature – that’s what I do on my birthday. This year She provided me with a beautiful big pink bloom on my echinacea plant…

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY GC! (Zoom, give that big guy a hug from me please.)

    p.s. I wasn’t going to read blogs tonight, but you sucked me right in with “tiny penises”.

  • sassy

    Birthday suggestion – both of you treat yourselves to a good message, followed by your favourite meal.

  • grace

    I firmly believe that anything you two cook up will be fun and memorable. HB GC!

  • Sally W

    And why shouldn’t it be a big deal?????

  • Gwen

    “..but GC and I just noticed that people back then spent a lot of time naked, and most of the men had tiny penises.”


  • I came across your blog through a link over at Salted Lithium and have spent a good half hour going through your posts. I am really glad I decided to click on that link because I’ve been enjoying your blog.

    While I get no pleasure from pain and illness, I do get pleasure from your optimism and outlook on life. I have a dear friend who suffers from all sorts of pain and she feels just like you do. Besides, anyone who goes to a Papal Rome exhibit at the National Gallery and the biggest impression they take away is how tiny the penises were, is okay in my book.

    I know today is GC’s birthday but I think you guys should spend part of it racing up and down ramps all through out the city. It’s fun and exercise and a little craziness all rolled into one.

  • I love how you always look on the bright side