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Aly and the fruit contest

Aly Marcotte-Willison is a teacher at Meadowlands Public School, here in Ottawa. She has entered a contest for teachers, sponsored by Del Monte. The prize is $750 and a bunch of fruit.

This is the very last week of the contest. Aly’s currently in fifteenth place (out of hundreds), but she needs to make it to the top ten in the next three days. She’s the only Canadian teacher with a chance of winning. If she wins, she’s going to spend the money on books for her classroom, and they’re going to have a fruit-eating party.

I don’t know why it matters so much to me that she win this thing. I never even heard of her until she was interviewed by CBC radio a week or so ago. But I really hope she wins.

So this is my plea to you to take a moment or two to vote for Aly. Voting instructions are here, on Aly’s page. No registration is required.

I know these things are kind of annoying, but I want Aly to win even more than I want to not be annoying. Thanks very much, and I’m sorry.

P.S. If you’d like to see Aly Marcotte-Willison, she’ll be on the CTV 6:00 News tonight.

The secret, revealed!

I think GC might have felt ever so slightly offended when I suggested recently that he was incapable of keeping a secret. I say this because several people tried their hardest to pry this particular secret out of him over the past few days, and his lips remained firmly sealed. Me, on the other hand, I blurted out the secret to every single person I ran into.

And now I’m going to spill it to you, too – one day in advance.

Tomorrow afternoon we’re getting a new addition to our family! We met him last weekend. His name is Kazoo. He’s a 13-year-old French-speaking double yellow headed Amazon parrot! (I know that sounds like he has two heads, which would be even cooler, but he only has one.)

We’re going to sit together at the dining room table and share sunflower seeds while listening to opera music. He’s going to teach me how to speak French, and I’m going to teach him how to speak English. GC’s going to teach him how to talk like Ernie from Sesame Street. We’re going to have sooooo much fun!

I know you’re all wondering where Duncan fits into the equation. I believe Duncan will find Kazoo very interesting, especially at first. I will supervise them carefully. Amazon parrots are pretty big birds, and I think they can take care of themselves. A well-time nip, if necessary, will send a very clear message to Duncan that Kazoo is out of his league. Years ago I babysat some Amazon parrots for someone for awhile. I was worried my cats would hurt them, but the instant the cats approached the cage, the parrots read them the riot act, and after that the cats gave the parrots a very wide berth. I think Kazoo is a gentler bird than those guys were, and Duncan is a gentler cat than those cats were, so hopefully the message can be delivered with a minimum of trauma all around.

I’ll post pictures of Kazoo tomorrow!

Pass the crackers

I follow Kijiji and UsedOttawa.com very closely when it comes to Birds for Sale. If a bird is listed on either of those sites, odds are I’ll know about it within a few hours.

Speaking of odd, I’ve noticed that bird folk can be a bit odd. I say this with the greatest respect and fondness for their oddness. From what I’ve seen, they are mostly tender-hearted and gentle-souled people with maybe a personality quirk or two. For example, maybe they like to make videos of themselves playing with stuffed birds and cats. Maybe they can tell when their bird is about to poop, and they hold their hand out so it can poop in their palm instead of on the floor. Maybe they live with 72 parrots and they haven’t left the house since the early 90s. Maybe they’re a bit flighty. You see what I mean? Harmless little endearing quirks like that.

So I was kind of blown away last night when I saw this ad on Kijiji. This guy’s not your typical bird person. He’s odd alright, but he’s not endearing.

Hi,

Unfortunately my brother has decided to move in with me and I can no longer keep my pet parrot JC due to his allergies. He is a great looking parrot that is just a joy to be around. I adopted him about 3 years ago and he has been close to my heart ever since. He knows a lot of cool phrases and can be taught to say almost anything, but nothing dirty since he is a good Christian bird. He is a regular at my church and he loves prayer time.

Price is not the biggest concern to me. I am open to offers of all price ranges and trades. My main concern is that he ends up in a good, heterosexual environment.

Please call with offers!

The picture with JC on my shoulder is one of my favorite, I’m going to miss him.

(His parrot, incidentally, is a macaw. They’re gorgeous and huge and expensive and demanding. Most people cannot handle them, and they should never be purchased by people without significant parrot experience under their belt. Or gay people!)

Timeraisers: A fiendishly clever way to add to your art collection

Last year several people said they wished I’d blogged about Timeraisers before the event instead of after, because they would have gone if they’d known about it.

So here you go: It’s happening this Saturday November 13th, 8:00 p.m., at the National Gallery. Tickets are $20. Franklin’s Fault will be providing musical entertainment. Cash bar. Dress code is “Saturday Casual,” whatever that means.

Timeraisers is a fiendishly clever concept. Here’s how it works. It’s a silent art auction, but you bid volunteer hours instead of money.

There are about 30 pieces of art (preview them here – the selection is better than ever this year), all of which were purchased for full market value from local artists. (I suspect artists get asked a lot to donate pieces for charitable auctions. I like the fact that Timeraisers supports local artists as well as charitable organizations.)

Before the auction starts, prospective bidders get an opportunity to circulate amongst a number of volunteer booths. At each booth you can learn more about a particular organization – what it does, what kinds of volunteer positions it has available, etc.

Then the bidding starts, and continues for about an hour. It’s a lot of fun – there’s an atmosphere of friendly competition amongst people who have the same artistic tastes.

If you win, you have a year to work your hours. You can devote them all to one organization, or spread them out among a number of organizations. You can even use some of them for organizations that aren’t under the Timeraisers umbrella.

If you complete your volunteer hours commitment, you pick up your artwork at next year’s Timeraisers. (In the meantime it will hang in the offices of one of the corporate sponsors of the event.)

Is that not clever?

Last year I bid on several pieces but didn’t win. However, I was contacted later in the year by the organizers and told that the winner of one piece was unable to meet her pledge, and did I want to replace her? I did. The piece is called Bus Stop, and it’s a painting of an OC Transpo bus (the #85, if I remember correctly) at a bus stop. I love it. The artist is Claudia Urbach, who was recently interviewed byApt. 613. I’ll be picking it up this Saturday, at the Timeraisers event. (And then I’ll be able to say that I own a piece of art which has hung at the National Gallery.)

My volunteer hours were spread amongst Christie Lake Kids (working in the after-school art program with a really interesting group of at-risk teenagers), a homelessness organization, Shepherds of Good Hope and a few hours with Friends of the Experimental Farm.

I hope some of you will come out on Saturday night. It’s fun, it’s clever, and it’s good for artists and the community.


Previous Timeraisers blog posts:

2008: In which GC and I suddenly notice we’re not young
2009: The one that got away

Spooky twins and a secret

GC and I went to the annual vintage clothing sale at the Chateau Laurier on Sunday. It’s one of my favourite events of the whole year. It’s not just the clothes – it’s the people. Some people show up in full vintage clothing – they look like they time-traveled here from some other era. They have every detail perfect – dress, hat, veil, gloves, handbag, stockings, makeup, even the hair. I wonder if they dress like that all the time, or just for the vintage clothing sale.

We were thrilled to see the spooky twins again this year. They haven’t aged a bit. They still look like not-quite-real twelve-year-olds. They still have long straight blonde hair, and they still wear vintage clothing. Best of all, they’re still freaky looking. GC and I tried to take pictures of them again this year, but neither one of us was brave enough to actually point a camera at them while they were looking. GC thinks they look like witches. I think Diane Arbus would have loved them.

Last night, while GC made shepherds pie (don’t worry, no actual shepherds were hurt) I took pictures of The Dog and Billie and Lester with my Hipstamatic.

I’m going to make a hugely exciting announcement later this week, or maybe on the weekend. You can try guessing if you want. (GC says “Don’t tell them yet, you might jinx it!” which is funny because one of the many, many things I love about GC is that he’s like a six-year-old when it comes to keeping secrets. If he doesn’t blurt it right out, he’ll give you great big fat hints until you guess. Even if you don’t want to know!)

Here are some of my snapshots from the vintage clothing sale.

A swimming giraffe, an ex's ex, and a one-room schoolhouse

Last night I dreamed that I had a huge aquarium which I’d neglected because I forgot it was there, even though it was huge. Probably 20 feet long, with two levels.

Once I remembered it was there I added some water and fed the fish. Then I went shopping at a little confectionery that was selling miniature aquarium creatures cheap. They were swimming around in a tiny tank. I bought about six of them, including a turtle and a little swimming giraffe. I brought them home and put them in my aquarium. But then I took a good look at the creatures who already lived in my aquarium. There was a fish who looked a lot like a sock monkey. There was a whole roomful of breeding budgies, and another roomful of breeding lovebirds, and another roomful of breeding rats.

There was also a great big mean thing which instantly killed my turtle. I caught him and he had lots of big pointy teeth. I put him on the ground and told him he was banished. He lumbered away across the floor.

Some people came to my door and said they were my landlords and told me I had to get rid of my aquarium. I was sad because I really liked that little giraffe.

Yesterday my son’s father’s ex-wife came to visit. I hadn’t seen her since she moved to the Sunshine Coast in BC with her four daughters, about 25 years ago. She’s in Ottawa for a few weeks because her sister has very sadly been diagnosed with fourth stage breast cancer. We had a lovely visit. The lovebirds perched on her head and we reminisced for a couple of hours. She does holistic healing work at a parrot rescue in Nanaimo, BC, in addition to healing work with people. (That sounds kind of dream-like too, but it was real.)

Other than that, I’ve been pretty busy writing my Nanowrimo book. I’m over 18,000 words now. Last night we wrote at the Centrepointe Library for awhile. I had some books on hold there, including Perseverance, Pranks and Pride: Tales of the One-Room Schoolhouse. I lived in a one-room schoolhouse near Kinburn from the age of 10 until I left home at 15. There are two pages about our schoolhouse (S.S. No. 5 Fitzroy) in the book, along with a couple of photographs. There’s a picture of the 17 students who attended the school in 1959, and I knew two of them. They lived across the road from us, and were about ten years older than me. One of them was in hairdressing school when I was a kid, and she cut my hair by putting it all in a ponytail and then cutting off the ponytail.

Apparently S.S. No. 5 Fitzroy was in use as a school until the year before we moved into it, which surprised me. I just assumed one-room schoolhouses were part of ancient history. So either I was wrong about that, or else I’m part of ancient history. (I think I’ll go with the first option.)

Be careful what you wish for

I wish I had a talking parrot.

Or maybe a pair of talking parrots.

Story ideas

Last year I read Stephen King’s Book, On Writing. It was really good, as books about writing go. One of the things that stuck with me was that there is nothing new under the sun. There are no new ideas, just new combinations of ideas. He says to take two unrelated things, and combine them in an original way.

Sometimes I try to combine news headlines for story ideas. For example, I’ve got these two intriguing news stories in my file. One is about a town that is trying to address its budgetary shortfalls by purchasing lottery tickets every week. It promises the townspeople that if it wins the lottery, it will eliminate taxes. The other story is about the history of an old suitcase in which the remains of two long-dead infants were found. The suitcase was traced back to a Scottish home care nurse in the early 1900s. It is still unknown whether the babies were hers, or whether they died of unnatural causes. The investigation continues.

Now the trick is to find a way to knit these two stories together. Got any ideas?

Here’s another news story that caught my eye. The Ontario Provincial Police pulled over a 24-year-old motorist and charged him with careless driving because he was reading a book while driving on Highway 401. I thought this was very, very interesting. But the police – and therefore the media – left out the most important detail: What was he reading? You could write a million stories about this, and they would all be different depending on the title of his book.

Nanowrimo’s going fairly well, by the way. My novel is not a novel. It’s something else entirely. I’ve written about 10,500 words now.

Flying triplet teenagers

My three little lovebirds are teenagers now. They’re not as sweet as they used to be, but they’re still lovable.

Piccolo is the boss bird. He likes Banjo and he’s aggressive towards Oboe. He doesn’t hurt Oboe, he just chases him away. (Banjo chases Oboe away too, but not as consistently as Piccolo.) Piccolo and Banjo sleep snuggled together on one perch, but poor little Oboe has to sleep alone on another perch. Piccolo is not affectionate with me. He likes to sit on me, but flies away if I touch him. For awhile there I found myself starting to dislike him because of the way he treats Oboe. But lately I’ve been teaching them tricks, and I’ve discovered that Piccolo is a very clever and engaging bird with a good sense of humour, so now I like him again. Even if he is a bit of a bully.

Banjo is the girl bird. She likes to shred paper and tuck the strips into her tail feathers, which is classic lovebird nesting behaviour. She’s much more calm and mellow than the other two. She can sit quietly without getting all twitchy like the boys. But she has no qualms about sticking up for her rights. If someone tries to take her sunflower seed, she’ll fight hard and mean, and she’ll win. Sometimes they get into a squabble when they’re sitting on me, and I’ve learned to keep my hands away from any altercation she’s part of. They all bite my fingers from time to time, but she bites the hardest. And she’ll bite me when she’s mad at one of them. But I always forgive her. She’s cuddly and affectionate and I know she likes me.

Oboe is the youngest and the most attached to me. When I open the cage and let them out for a flyabout, Piccolo and Banjo will sometimes head straight over to the window. Not Oboe. He always comes to me first for a snuggle session. I give him extra everything – extra cuddles, extra sunflower seeds, extra praise, extra kisses – because he’s special, and because the others pick on him. (GC wonders if the others pick on him because he gets extra everything, but I don’t think so…)

I let them out of their cage twice a day, for about an hour and a half total. I spend most of that time in their room with them, while they fly and play. I’m part of their playground. They especially like me when I wear shirts with zippers, or a watch, or something else they can play with.

I’m going to make a special bird shirt. I’ll just attach interesting things to an old shirt. This will serve a dual purpose: it’ll give them something to do, and it’ll keep the bird poop off my regular shirts.

When it comes time to return them to their cage, Oboe’s always the most cooperative. Then Banjo. Piccolo likes to make a game of it, so I have to chase him all over the room and climb up on the desk and threaten to ground him by trimming his flight feathers. (They’re all fully feathered. I got as far as buying decent scissors, but I never used them.)

I’m still planning to build a finch aviary. I’ve been inspired by the Finsters. It will go in the living room where the TV would be if I had a TV. It’ll have to wait until after November, because I’m busy with Nanowrimo right now. (Speaking of which, I wrote 5,046 words on the first day!)

Tabula Rasa

GC and I are about to embark on National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo), which starts tomorrow and continues for all of November. The object of the exercise is to write the first draft of a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.

Last year I had a plan. I knew what my novel was about: two people who meet through online dating and ultimately experience a catastrophic clash of personality disorders. GC didn’t have a plan. He just started typing on November first and didn’t stop until the 30th.

When it was over, we reflected upon what we would do differently next (this) year. I vowed to have a more fully fleshed-out plan; I’d know the whole story before I began writing it. GC said he’d have some idea of what his story would be about before he started.

Well, here it is, October 31st, and neither one of us has a clue what our novels will be about. I’m not even sure mine will be a novel. Maybe it’ll be a collection of short stories. Maybe it’ll be a stream of consciousness. Maybe it’ll be a memoir. (All of these things would be technically against the rules, by the way. It’s National Novel Writing Month.)

Some of the things I liked about doing it last year, which is why I’m doing it again this year:

1. The emphasis on quantity, as opposed to quality, effectively disempowered my inner critic and my inner perfectionist. Sure, they still moaned and despaired about the quality, but they weren’t allowed to re-read, change or delete anything.
2. My constant need for material got me in the habit of seeing everything around me as potential material, which of course it is. I was thinking like a writer.
3. I liked the momentum that developed from writing every day, as opposed to my usual method, which involves waiting for inspiration and getting very little written.
4. After I got a single copy of my novel published (six months after I wrote it), I sat down and read it and I was surprised to discover I kind of liked my book. Sure, there were some cringe-worthy bits and glaring plot holes and tangents and dropped balls, but there were also some interesting twists and details, some witty bits and good ideas.
5. There’s a book on my bookshelf with my name on the spine!